The Double Standard For Shaving is Real

To all the boys who feel uncomfortable when women choose not to shave:

     I was standing in line about to order my food, when a good friend of mine started joking around with me. Eventually things spiraled out of control, and he commented on the peach fuzz above my lip. This would have been passable; except he then followed his joke by directing me to shave it off. I was embarrassed, insecure and left feeling unattractive and unwanted. Months had passed when I finally reminisced on the incident with questionability. Why did I feel unattractive? Why did this boy tell me how to maintain my body? Why is body hair such a controversial and shameful experience for females? I realized that women are under relentless pressure to shave.

Background

    I know, I know, this issue of women shaving is so deeply embedded in American values that even some girls gasp at the thought of letting their hair grow out! In order to understand where this ‘trend’ of gender-specific hair removal comes from; past traditions must be examined. Ever since the dawn of civilization, different cultures have experimented with hair removal. This was one way to keep clean; as showers, deodorant, soap and face wash were far from being invented. Then came the 20^th century. Shaving the legs/armpits of women became popular and a sign of wealth. Darwin’s Theory of Evolution amplified this. He concluded that body hair was a primitive trait and women with it are animal-like, while women with no body hair are evolution’s best innovation. As the 1980’s arrived, the increased risqué environment of the broadcasting world resulted in the pursuit of the hairless woman. From super models to famous athletes, everyone was getting rid of body hair to fit into the hottest new fashion. And what is my generation left with? A society that is disgusted of hair growing on a female.

    If you have not caught on by now, or cannot bring yourself to acceptance, I will directly reassure you. Women grow hair. Yes, we do! Our bodies have not somehow created a perfect gene that allows for luscious locks to grow on our head but lie vacant everywhere else. Then why are women still shaving? Women still get comments like the one I got last year, every day. I know how it felt when my close friend made fun of me. I cannot imagine how other braver women feel when a stranger comments on her more visible body hair. Would a woman ever make the same comment to a hairier man? Men holding women to these unrealistic expectations is a double standard and plays into the underlying problem of sexism. Heaven forbid that women share a similar quality to a man, especially by nature! By subjecting women to this impossible standard of beauty, perfectly hairless skin, men are throwing us a punch to the gut with the words “you are not naturally beautiful. You must change yourself to be attractive” written on the fist. It is not reality. Girls have hair. Boys have hair. It is time to accept hair for what it is, just hair.

Now What?  

    Wait, but Avery, how do I accept that women do not want to shave for me? How do I accept that their choices belong to them, and that I do not have any say? How do I make a change when this stigma is so rooted in American culture? It is simple... 

    Right off the bat, when you notice that a women’s decision with her body hair is affecting your emotions, take a moment and think. Remember that body hair is a natural, normal thing for humans to have. Remember that by commenting on body hair, with the intention of changing it, is not only rude but plays into the many double standards relating to women’s beauty. Remember that it is society’s conditioning that has made you revolt at the sight of female hair anywhere else but the scalp.

    Another great way of changing the messed-up stigma around body hair is by standing up for the girls in your life for the decisions they make for themselves. Build up the women around you instead of tearing them down. Your friend decides to go to the pool party and does not do anything about her unshaven legs? Cool! You still support her, and if anyone does not, you explain to them why they should. The world needs more environments where women can feel confident in who they naturally are.

    And the most long-term solution lies in the hands of future parents and caregivers. Young boys need to be taught that girls growing hair is not gross, instead of girls being trained to get rid of it. My girlfriends and I recently talked about the first time we were gifted a razor. Our parents never explained that our hair is normal, they only explained that we needed to shave it off! This is a horrible way to raise young women to be confident. The number of times that me or my friends have felt insecure because we did not shave… it is unfair and immoral.

    So, is it clear now why you should not feel uncomfortable at women’s hair? It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with genetics and evolution. By categorizing women with body hair as “gross” or “manly”, you are saying that it is undesirable that a woman is in her natural state. Women do not need this societal pressure. Change the way you view and respect women’s decisions surrounding their hair, and you will make a better world for everyone.

 

Sincerely,

Avery Karren